I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
