The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
