David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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