I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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