I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
