Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
