I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
