I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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