I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
