Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
what day is it and did you see me today?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
