I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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