I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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