After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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