I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
