Need sex. Gaining weight.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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