i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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