Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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