I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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