We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize