Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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