Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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