Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
