the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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