I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
