They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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