After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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