sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
