it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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