Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
