It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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