Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
