I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
