there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
