Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
