Whod you bang
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
