Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
