Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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