I can text with my tongue
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I want a musical about memes.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
