Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
