Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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