i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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