I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
