Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
