I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
