I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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