i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize