Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
