he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
