i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
