Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize