Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
