I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
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