remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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