She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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