My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
