I need to stop coming to work sober
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
