dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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