my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
