so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize