How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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