she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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