Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
3pm strippers are depressing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
