Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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