porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
